Well, I’ve decided to finish this blog rather than watch another terrible airplane movie (really, M. Night Shamalyan? The Last Airbender? Never believed he could do such a bad movie). While watching a movie helps distract me, a bit, from what I have seen in the last two weeks, I think it might be more therapeutic to put it down on paper, something I have been trying to avoid. So let me take you back to the events of Monday, August 30th.
We drive back from Swat…it is a long drive, made enjoyable by the slightly misogynist jokes my incredibly awesome uncle kept texting me. For example:
“Two people were denied entry Hajj visas this year. One was Zardari, because officials worried that if he was there, they wouldn’t be able to figure out which devil to stone. The other was Altaf Hussain, because Hajj isn’t accepted via teleconference”. (Sorry, if you follow Pakistani politics, the joke is funny).
The driver wears shalwar-kurta, wears a white cap, and has a thick beard. I’m a bit surprised, then, when he puts in a CD playing a Celine Dion song (he explained to me that she was from my country). It was a bizarre experience driving past destroyed bridges, damaged roads, and broken villages to the lyrics of, “Near/Far/Wherever You Are/I believe that the heart does/Go On”. (I’m sorry, I have an unfortunate tendency to memorize a song the first time I listen to it). However, the driver one-ups himself when he reveals that the screen on the dashboard is also a DVD player. Five minutes later, I am praying very hard as the driver stares intently at the Indian dancing girls on the screen rather than on the oncoming traffic.
We finally reach Islamabad. I get dropped off at my mom’s cousin’s house, where I have dinner- a truly amazing family. The father knew a great deal about the situation in Swat, having worked there for the last 30 years, and is thus a very helpful person to talk to.
When I get back to Islamabad, I am incredibly relieved to reach the Elahi house. I sleep for a few hours, write the article that got published in the Winnipeg Free Post, and check to make sure that my flight to Karachi is on schedule.
Obviously, I’m skipping a few things, namely the incredible hospitality of the Elahi family, but by Wednesday I was at Islamabad airport flying to Karachi. My goal there was to meet with a team from Agha Khan Medical University, and then provide logistical support for one of their teams heading out into interior Sindh (see map).
I reach Karachi late at night, where my eternally awesome uncle picks me up and takes me home. I met my grandmother, than fall asleep.
I’ll skip a day to make things more interesting. 10:30 a.m, on Thursday, I am loading everyone’s bags into a non-descript white van at the Agha Khan Medical University. AKU (as I shall refer to it hence) is a truly picturesque university. It operates on a single theme (take note, new, horrible, post-modernesque buildings popping up around the U of A) that seems to be a take off the Alhambra (honestly, I just assumed that based on some of the architecture and the red stone). Regardless, it is a singularly nice building.
I was briefed, ten minutes before leaving, of my exact duties. I am to help run inventory and distribution at the medical centre at Railways Hospital in Sukkar, about 7 hours from Karachi. Sukkar is about a 7 hours drive from Karachi. The third largest city in Sindh, Sukkar was known as the City of Canals, with a unique Romanesque aqueduct to boot.
Well, canals don’t quite bode well, in terms of disaster relief, during a flood.
Our drive is an interesting one. I had previously thought that the situation in Swat was bad. However, as we drive along, I realized that the situation there didn’t even compare with what it was like in interior Sindh.
I talked with a person from the Government of Pakistan’s Ministry of Agriculture for one of my articles in Swat. He had told me that initially, when the floods began, they caused significant human casualties in the Swat region and in the KPK province because it was so sudden; flash flooding destroyed homes and killed almost 600-700 people immediately. However, the drainage system in Pakistan forced the water to head south, drowning Punjab and Sindh. In Sindh, the last is apparently incredibly flat, and thus the water just stays there like a livid pool of stagnant sludge. I haven’t double-checked this myself, but his argument did seem to be correct- even close to a month after the floods hit, there was, literally speaking from the Coleridge poem The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, “Water water everywhere, nor any drop to drink”.
I didn’t take many photos of the area, mainly because I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Taking photos of the Swat region, even though the area had been devastated by so much suffering through the earthquake, the war with the Taliban, and now the flood- but the people of Swat were a testament to strength and determination as they forced themselves onto their two feet again. In Sindh, though, the story was different. It was a story of neglect; of unimaginable poverty, racism from everyone around them, and desperation. Although I sometimes wished to capture an entire horizon filled with brown sludge, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. There was just something inside me that didn’t allow it. It would have been like filming a child dying (which I also saw in Railways Hospital)- it wasn’t necessarily wrong, but it ultimately seemed callous at least, and evil at worst.
Of course, the situation was compounded by the fact that the driver, due to popular demand of my fellow passengers, put on some of the most obscene songs I have ever heard. To give them the benefit of the doubt, I think that English was not the native language of the nurses and doctors who were with me. However, as the lyrics began to get unmentionable even as we drove past things that were unphotographitable (yes, I just made up that word), I had enough, and I turned to some of the nurses and told them that the song was incredibly obscene. They smiled the, “Oh, look at the Canadian trying to speak Urdu. It’s funny that he thinks the song is inappropriate” smile. I put my head on the window and tried to get some sleep.
We arrive in Khairpur. AKU had booked out an interesting hotel called “Sukoon” (apparently, all the hotels had been booked. One of the doctors I was talking to scornfully claimed that these disasters actually made local people happy because it became “high season” where journalists, NGOs, volunteers, brought their cash with them).
The hotel “manager”, was also the receptionist, clerk, cook, mechanic, and go-to-guy. He was the terror of some of the AKU staff, who hated him deeply. They had some convincing reasons: at night, he would bang on the doors of every room to make sure that they had the AC off when the power went out. Apparently, some of the AKU staff left their ACs on when the power went out, and thus the generator blew out. Thus, when the power would go out at Sukoon, there was no AC or fans. Or cold water.
Yes. It was very hot.
After we went to the Khairpur hospital, we drove on to Sukkur. Most of Sukkur hadn’t gone underwater, but as one of the largest centres, it had become a convergence point for survivors.
We drive past literal tent-cities. Thousands and thousands of tents. Tragically, many of them are from the 2005 earthquake. So many NGO camps are operating here that it is hard to keep track- yet, as I talk to people, it seems that many of them are missing the point. See, this is where the disconnect happens:
At any NGO:
1. 1. NGO staff hears about flood.
2. 2. NGO staff hears that people are displaced.
3. 3. NGO raises money/gets grants.
4. 4. NGO sets up tent city
5. 5.NGO staff ensures that they do a precise head count/take emotional photographs so they can please their sponsors/donors
For Victims:
1. 1Victim loses home, livelihood (not that it was much to go on in the first place).
2. 2Victim and his/her family needs to survive, hears that they are handing out stuff in Sukkur. Migrates there.
3. 3Finds that there are many many tents. And lots of mineral water, which the victim has never used in their whole life- since taps are not exactly available, some of the mineral water will get used for washing yourself, washing clothes, etc.
4. 4One month later, need some sort of job/ source of income rather than waiting in line at an NGO camp. Also, will need better shelter than a tent. How can you have privacy in a tent when a tent there is defined as a stretch of canvas across four poles (N.B. I saw hundreds of empty tents just as we drove on the road, without me even looking). Time to abandon tent and look for better prospects.
5. 5No better prospect than tent. Desperation.
To me, Imran Khan had one of the better suggestions for how people who want to give aid can help. Find a village that has been affected, and then adopt it. Personally help fund its reconstruction- that way, people can get back to their lives rather than living in miserable conditions as IDPs. I don’t know if giving to Imran Khan’s organization would do that, but I do think his idea was a good one.
What can I really say about my work in Railways Hospital? It worked sort of like this:
1. 1. Mustafa gets to work at around 9-ish
2. 2.Mustafa checks the inventory in the store room to make sure that there is enough meds/syringes/other supplies. Usually, the supplies we lack we can’t get in fast enough- like ORS, 10 cc syringes, Amoxil, Augmentin. On the other hand, there are like a thousand creams lying in the corner that I don’t think we used once.
3. 3.Mustafa sits at desk for a long time.
4. 4 Somebody comes in and asks for a medicine. Mustafa hurls things into the air, searches the boxes, and comes back with the meds and makes a note of who took it and how much they took.
5. 5Mustafa goes and sees if the nurses need help with anything
6. 6Mustafa sits and waits some more- talks with anyone who can spare a minute
7. 7Mustafa goes home and sleeps.
8. 8Mustafa wakes up, breaks fast, calls home, then sleeps some more.
That was pretty much my life for six days. Usually, I would gain insight either in Step 5 or at in between time. Perhaps I can put down a few of those incidents. It’s hard to write some of them- but I hope you can bear with me.
One nurse needs help making ORS in the ward. In Railway, diarrhea is a major problem, with malnourished kids losing their last bits of nutrition through diarrhea.
How can I describe the ward? Smoky room. Brown walls. Spit on the floor. Smells strongly of unwashed bodies, vomit, and excrement. Four kids and their mother to a bed- they are all so thin that it is not a tight fit. So hot. So hot. No AC- the one AC room we have is reserved for AKU staff and volunteers only.
I am emptying ORS sachets into an orange water cooler. A little kid, his mom cradling him in her arms, watches me. His wide eyes stare deep into mine, exposing me for what I am. A fraud. A cheap student who thinks to hope to make a difference. Someone no better than the very aid organizations he criticizes.
His mom calls me over and says something in a mixture of Sindhi and Urdu. She thinks I am a doctor, and wants me to remove the kid’s IV. I try to explain that I am not, and I call the nurse, who removes the tube-part-thing from the cannuale so his mother can take him to the bathroom. As the kid walks away, I feel a deep pit in my stomach.
The doctor who I am room-mating with has a friend from Sukkur who wants to visit him. He is some high ranking district judge. I try to straighten up the room before he comes- I want to see what a one-time Pakistani lawyer administering “law based on Shariah principles” is like.
The judge comes in, sees me, and does a double take. There is a look of deep fear on his face that almost makes me want to laugh- it’s a look I usually only get from the crazy racists (of which I have only met, and I am counting, three) in Canada. When the doctor roomie smiles and tells him that I am from Canada, the judge looks somewhat comforted, although he still thinks I’m going to assassinate him (oh, sorry, I should explain. I have a beard, apparently look “Pathan”, was staring intently at the door when he came inside meditating on the day’s events, and am wearing traditional shalwar kameez).
Once the judge has recovered his cool a bit, he begins to pontificate in Urdu, “Balance is very important. As a young person, you must know that people like me, who are your elders, once used to think like you, be very passionate, and believe in silly things like angels. The hair on my arm used to go up when I used to hear the national anthem. You should never think that violence is a good thing.”
At this point, the conversation has gotten so ridiculous that I actually begin to laugh. It reminded me, for some strange reason, of the absurd situation that occurs when Joker speaks to Batman at the end of the Killing Joke.
“Two inmates are breaking out of an insane asylum. Just as they are about to cross the wall, they realize they have no way of getting across. One of the inmates says, ‘Hey Jerry, I’ll shine this flashlight across and you can run across the beam to the other side!’ Jerry says, ‘Do I look crazy? You’ll turn it off when I’m halfway across!”
Batman bursts into laughter, and the comic comes to an abrupt close.
The last day I am in Sukkur. I am sitting with the other person in the warehouse, a phlebotomist named Fahad. A Minister has just come to the hospital bringing dresses for the little girls, suits for Eid. A horde of photographers follow him, snapping his photo.
A doctor comes into our room and asks, rather calmly, where we have our oxygen canister? We both search about for it for a minute or so; we finally find it, and at the doctor’s wish, we both carry it out of the warehouse towards the emergency room.
In the emergency room, a little girl is dying. Her face is skeletal- malnutrition and diarrhea, she needs air desperately. The nurses and doctors are pumping her chest, her tiny body reeling from the blows. I hear her taking a thin rasping breath as she struggles for air. Her mother, cradling her child in her arms, is crying to God for help. Her father, helpless, stands at the edge of the bed. I start crying even before I know it is all over, just as we get the oxygen mask on her.
They say men don’t cry. Well, that mother’s cry of pain could have split stone.
I am split in two. If only I had run faster with the oxygen tank. If only the oxygen tank had been in the emergency room, as it should always be. If only.
Now I am doing the “if” game- a crude, selfish activity if there has ever been one. A child’s death is a wrenching of the world- it is a destiny that we can work to alleviate, but ultimately, we all must go just like her. The question is, how we choose the manner of that last trip- and for children, the tragedy is that they haven’t had the opportunity yet to do so.
Beyond conceptions of right and wrong, there is a field. I will meet you there.-Rumi
FINITUS.
